Jumping the Fence

My boyfriend says I have a bad habit of jumping the fence. In other words I can't make up my mind. I have to say that I agree with him whole-heartedly. I have commitment issues and when I have to confirm things, especially things that involve money, I have anxiety attacks. Not the kind where I hyperventilate on the floor, seize and draw unwanted attention; mine are less noticeable but can cause some serious problems.

Take for instance, the day I decided to buy a new laptop. I was all about it. I needed a new computer because I was afraid mine was going to die at the most inconvenient moment and take all of my thesis work with it. That would create an anxiety attack! Anywho, back to the story. We headed to the Apple Store to purchase a MacBook. This is exactly what I wanted...no questions. However, when it came time to say to the nice Mac man, Yes Sir, I want to purchase a MacBook, I froze! It was so difficult for me. I started sweating. My heart starting racing. It took every ounce of strength in me to hand the guy my card. However, once this catastrophe was over and I had signed the slip, I was fine. I went home happy and have enjoyed my Mac ever since.

So, why do people have issues like these? If you know you want something and there is no question, why is the world is it so difficult! I curse who ever came up with the phrase commitment issues and put a name to my disease. I suppose there is no cure and I will simply have to deal with it. In the meantime, my boyfriend now has the hard part of signing the big checks.

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Anonymous said...

I think that what you are describing happens to a lot of people. I had a mini anxiety attack when I decided to buy a new laptop too. I attributed mine to the fact that I grew up with so little money - and to see that much disappear so quickly.... it was just hard. I guess I just have issues with spending large sums of money. That may be what is happening with you too.